Top Five Ways to Cope with Trauma: Insights from Expert Erika

At the Israel Daily News, we recently had the opportunity to speak with New York – Based Psychoanalyst Erica Komisar in Jerusalem about the ongoing trauma in Israel and how individuals—especially young children—can navigate these difficult times. We explored ways to mitigate the effects of trauma and build resilience, particularly in children between the ages of zero and three. Below, we summarize the five key takeaways from our conversation that can help people process their experiences and emotions.

1. Embracing Quiet Moments

In today’s fast-paced world, filled with social media and constant distractions, taking quiet moments can feel unnatural or even lazy. However, Erika stresses that allowing yourself to experience boredom is crucial. It is in these moments of stillness that emotions surface and can be properly processed. If we constantly fill our time with busyness, we might suppress emotions that need attention. Give yourself permission to pause and embrace quiet moments—they are essential for healing.

2. The Power of Hugs

Physical touch is a powerful tool for emotional well-being. Erika explains that a simple 10-second hug releases oxytocin, often referred to as the “love hormone.” This hormone has an inverse relationship with cortisol, the stress hormone, meaning that the more physical affection we give and receive, the lower our stress levels become. During challenging times, frequent hugs and skin-to-skin contact with loved ones can provide much-needed comfort and relief.

3. Sleeping Together for Nighttime Security

For both children and adults, nighttime security is just as important—if not more so—than daytime security. In Israel, many families are on high alert, ready to run to a safe room at any moment. While societal norms might encourage children to sleep independently, Erika suggests that during times of crisis, it’s okay to prioritize comfort over independence. Gathering in a big family bed can provide reassurance, safety, and emotional support during uncertain times.

4. Expressing, Not Suppressing, Emotions

Israeli society is known for its resilience, often encouraging people to bear their pain and move on. However, Erika emphasizes that expressing emotions is actually a sign of strength, not weakness. Suppressing difficult feelings like sadness, anger, or fear can lead to long-term emotional struggles. Instead, finding a trusted person to share your feelings with can help process and release those emotions in a healthy way.

5. Practicing Non-Judgment Toward Emotions

Lastly, Erika highlights the importance of not judging emotions—both our own and those of others. In a culture that values endurance, it’s essential to create space for vulnerability. We should resist the urge to judge others for expressing their emotions and instead offer understanding and support. By doing so, we create a more compassionate society where healing can take place.

Final Thoughts

Whether you have personally experienced trauma or are affected by hearing about it in the news, these five coping strategies can be beneficial for everyone. By embracing quiet moments, prioritizing physical touch, fostering nighttime security, allowing emotions to be expressed, and practicing non-judgment, we can all take steps toward healing and resilience.

Komisar’s advice is a reminder that even in the face of adversity, small, intentional actions can have a profound impact on emotional well-being.